You want the best for your family—to set up your kids and teens for success and create a happier, calmer family life. But when do you learn how to parent, how to parent a teenager, or how do you raise successful children?
What if there was an online parenting program that could answer all your questions but still lets you choose the strategies that fit your family’s needs? Millions of families around the globe have had success with Triple P Online, and it can help you too!
In the optimal world, we would all take a really good practical parenting class before we become parents. Unfortunately, that almost never happens. Usually, we go into it with high expectations, and then our toddler quickly humbles us to the point of giving up. Parenting should be rewarding and FUN! You should feel like you are making a difference in this little one’s life, teaching her everything she needs to know to become a properly socialized contributing member of society.
Luckily, no matter your stage of uncertainty or frustration, I can help you turn this around. Initially, you need to invest some time and energy into learning a new way to approach parenting. The time you invest now will be returned to you a hundred or even thousand-fold in increased cooperation, respect, control. Imagine a time when your parenting authority is completely present and effective.
If you are spending minutes, even hours a day in frustration and ineffective tactics, it may seem impossible to add more to your plate. However, this is EXACTLY what you need to do to turn this around. And it will happen so much faster than you think.
Hi, I’m Amy McCready.
Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, best-selling author, mother of two … and “recovering yeller.”
Don’t let my sunny smile fool you: Before I learned how to get my two sons to listen, I used to yell myself hoarse nearly every day.
Like you, I never imagined I would turn into “That Yelling Mom” … but I was trapped in a vicious cycle:
I’d ask my kids to do something in my nicest voice … and nothing would happen. So I’d repeat myself. And remind them.
… And repeat and remind and repeat and remind …
Until eventually, inevitably, I would lose it and blow up at them … turning into The Big Ugly Yelling Mom AGAIN.
It was a never-ending cycle I couldn’t escape. I was at the end of my rope and CONSTANTLY disappointed in myself for the parent I had become.
Sound familiar? I’m sure you can relate.
It wasn’t until I discovered the power of positive parenting strategies that I finally understood why yelling, nagging, and threats just don’t work as a parenting strategy.
What I learned completely changed my family, and it can change yours, too.
Parenting is not easy.
Good parenting is hard work.
How To Be A Good Parent?
What makes a good parent?
A good parent strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child.
A good parent doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect.
No parent is perfect.
No child is perfect either … keeping this in mind is important when we set our expectations.
But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t work towards that goal.
Set high standards for ourselves first and then our children second. We serve as a role model for them.
Here are 10 tips on learning effective parenting skills.
Many of them are not quick nor easy. And probably no one can do all of them all of the time.
But if you can keep working on them, even though you may only do part of these some of the time, you will still be moving in the right direction.
Top 10 Tips On Improving Parenting Skills
#1 Be A Good Role Model
Walk the walk. Don’t just tell your child what you want them to do. Show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation1. We are programmed to copy other’s actions to understand them and to incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
So, be the person you want your child to be — respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion — and your child will follow suit.
Related: 6 Highly Effective Ways To Teach Kids Respect
#2: Love Them And Show Them Through Action
Show your love.
There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them cannot spoil them2.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can — things like material-indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that’s when you’ll have a spoiled child.
Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously.
Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth and contentment, from these the child will develop resilience and not to mention a closer relationship with you3.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm Positive Parenting
Babies are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively little connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive our actions, shape our personalities and basically determine who we are. They are created, strengthened and “sculpted” through experiences across our lives.
Give your child positive experiences. They will have the ability to experience positive experiences themselves and offer them to others4.
Give your child negative experiences. They won’t have the kind of development necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with your child. Ride through an emotional tantrum. Solve a problem together with a positive attitude.
Not only do these positive experiences create good connections in your child’s brain, but they also form the memories of you that your child carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive. But it is possible to practice Positive Discipline and avoid punitive measures.
Being a good parent means you need to teach your child the moral in what is right and what is wrong. Setting limits and being consistent are the keys to good discipline. Be kind and firm when enforcing those rules. Focus on the reason behind the child’s behavior. And make it an opportunity to learn for the future, rather than to punish for the past.
Related: How To Deal With Toddler Tantrums
#4: Be A Safe Haven For Your Child
Let your child know that you’ll always be there for them by being responsive to the child’s signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm, safe haven for your child to explore from.
Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better emotional development, social development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk With Your Child And Help Their Brains Integrate
Most of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully.
By keeping an open line of communication, you’ll have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there’s a problem.
But there’s another reason for communication — you help your child integrate different parts of his/her brain.
Integration is similar to our body in which different organs need to coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body.
When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more cooperative behavior, and more empathy.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how he/she felt.
You don’t have to provide solutions. You don’t need to have all the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talk and asking clarifying questions will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate memories.
#6: Reflect On Your Own Childhood
Many of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a happy childhood may want to change some aspects of how they were brought up.
But very often, when we open our mouths, we speak just like our parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding why we parent the way we do.
Make note of things you’d like to change and think of how you’d do it differently in a real scenario. Try to be mindful and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.
Don’t give up if you don’t succeed at first. It takes practice. Lots of practice.
#7: Pay Attention To Your Own Well-Being
Pay attention to your own well-being.
Often times, things such as your own health or the health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a child is born. If you don’t pay attention to them, they will become bigger problems down the road5.
Take good care of yourself physically and mentally. Take time to strengthen your relationship with your spouse. If these two areas fail, your child will suffer, too.
#8: Do Not Spank, No Matter What
No doubt, to some parents, spanking can bring about short-term compliance which sometimes is a much-needed relief for the parents.
However, this method doesn’t teach the child right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear external consequences. The child is then motivated to avoid getting caught instead.
Spanking your child is modeling to your child that he/she can resolve issues by violence6.
Children who are spanked, smacked or hit are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes. Later in life, they are also more likely to result in delinquency and antisocial behavior, worse parent-child relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or abusers7.
There are a variety of better alternatives to discipline that have been proven to be more effective8, such as Positive Discipline (Tip #3 above) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And Remember Your Parenting Goal
What is your goal of raising a child?
If you’re like most parents, you want your child to do well in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, enjoy meaningful relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend on working towards those goals?
If you’re like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain Child,
instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back.
Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child. Instead, find ways to turn every negative experience into a learning opportunity for him/her. Even epic tantrums can be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments.
Doing these will not only help you keep a healthy perspective, but you are also working on one of your primary goals in parenting — building a good relationship with your child.
#10: Take A Shortcut By Utilizing Findings In Latest Psychology And Neuroscience Research
By shortcuts, I don’t mean shortchanging your child. What I mean is to take advantage of what is already known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology.
Many parenting practices or traditions have been scientifically researched, verified, refined or refuted.
For good scientific parenting advice and information, here is one of my favorite science-based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child is different. Even within the best parenting style, there can be many different parenting practices you can choose according to your child’s temperament.
For example, besides spanking, there are many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, removing privileges, time-in, etc. You can choose the non-punitive discipline method that works best for your child.
Of course, you can also choose to use “traditional” or “old school” philosophies (e.g. spanking) and may still get the “same” outcome.
According to the Diathsis-Stress Model, people who have vulnerabilities to suffer from a psychological disorder are more likely to develop one when they experience stress.
The diathesis, i.e. vulnerabilities, can be biological or environmental.
So, perhaps your child may be lucky and don’t have such vulnerabilities. They may be resilient and prevail no matter how tough you parent.
But they may be not .
Why risk the damages some of the sub-par practices may create while there’re well researched, better ones?
Taking these “shortcuts” may require more work on your part in the short-term, but can save you lots of time and agony in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good thing is, although parenting is hard, it is also very rewarding. The bad part is the rewards usually come much later than the hard work. But if we try our best now, we will eventually reap the rewards and have nothing to regret.
- 1.Rizzolatti G, Craighero L. The mirror-neuron system. Annu Rev Neurosci. 2004;27:169-192. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15217330.
- 2.Landry S, Smith K, Swank P, Assel M, Vellet S. Does early responsive parenting have a special importance for children’s development or is consistency across early childhood necessary? Dev Psychol. 2001;37(3):387-403. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11370914.
- 3.Viero C, Shibuya I, Kitamura N, et al. REVIEW: Oxytocin: Crossing the Bridge between Basic Science and Pharmacotherapy. CNS Neuroscience & Therapeutics. July 2010:e138-e156. doi:10.1111/j.1755-5949.2010.00185.x
- 4.Bradley B, Davis TA, Wingo AP, Mercer KB, Ressler KJ. Family environment and adult resilience: contributions of positive parenting and the oxytocin receptor gene. European Journal of Psychotraumatology. September 2013:21659. doi:10.3402/ejpt.v4i0.21659
- 5.Maternal depression and child development. Paediatr Child Health. 2004;9(8):575-598. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19680490.
- 6.Gershoff ET. Corporal punishment by parents and associated child behaviors and experiences: A meta-analytic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin. 2002:539-579. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.128.4.539
- 7.Gershoff E, Grogan-Kaylor A. Spanking and child outcomes: Old controversies and new meta-analyses. J Fam Psychol. 2016;30(4):453-469. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27055181.
- 8.Effective discipline for children. Paediatr Child Health. 2004;9(1):37-50. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19654979.
Disclosure: Bear in mind that some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.
There are two types of parents. First, guilty and frustrated ones who lock themselves in the bathroom to cry after yelling at their kids. And, second, those who have learned the skills to solve parenting problems and proudly stand hands akimbo with wind on their hair like the superhero parents they are.
When you thought of having a baby, you never imagined raising little terrorists who don’t listen to a word you say. Right from birth, kids will bite you, spit food on your face, and even pee on you.
While this can also be cute and funny moments that melt your heart like butter, they can also be the cause of misery and agony.
Parenting is, without a doubt, the best thing in the world, but it’s also the most challenging. Without the right tools to navigate the challenges, everything feels like war.
No wonder most parents today are always yelling out of frustration!
In the absence of spanking (which worked magically for us when we were young), most parents have tried threatening, bribing, counting to three, and even grounding their kids. It works for a minute until the said kids come out angrier, dangerously resentful, and behave even worse.
Crying in the bathroom always comes after you unleash epic verbal diarrhea on your kids and then feel like a monster five minutes later. But the good news is, there is a solution, and today we will show you exactly how to recover from being a yeller to a superhero parent. The kind of parent your kids stare into the sunset with and say, “I love you mom or dad’ without anyone forcing the words out of their mouths.
Have you ever felt like you are ready to pack up for utopia and never deal with your kids again?
That’s how most parents feel; at least I know I did. I bumped into several positive parenting resources and read numerous tips about staying calm, taking a break, knowing the triggers, and so forth.
I tried all these, but somehow, I always fell short and found myself exploding like a volcano for the tenth time in a day.
Over time, I found the tools and resources that enabled me to form a Zen environment at home, one where my kids were ready to help around, do their chores without fussing, and I even received those compliments all parents covet from their kids.
Positive Parenting Solutions was finally a resource that understands and effectively addresses my woes. These tools teach you how to stop screaming at your kids, nagging, and using disciplining measures that don’t work. But the best thing about it is that the guilt that drives you to tears will melt like ice on a hot sunny day. In brief, let us consider some of the principles you will learn.
- Body, Mind and Soul Time
In the middle of dealing with temper tantrums, have you ever stopped to wonder what makes your kids behave like little monsters? More often than not, the answer is attention-seeking. Every child wants undivided attention from their parents, and if they don’t get enough of it, they act out.
Unfortunately, between house chores, work, and making sure the family has everything they need, parents don’t have time for one on one time. But, setting aside ten minutes twice a day to sit down with your child and have some mind, soul, and body time is critical to changing your child’s behavior.
One on one time is not for reading a story or watching TV. You should talk, connect, and listen.
- How Your Parent Personality Affects Your Child
Your personality and parenting style affect how your child behaves. For instance, parents who operate from an ego state which gives off superiority and controlling vibes receive power struggles as a result. Children may be tiny, but they don’t like being controlled any more than you do.
On the other hand, if your parenting style is pleasing and comforting, your kids learn to walk all over you and treat you like a rag. By tweaking your parenting style to be more assertive but not superior, structural, but not controlling, you are better placed to gain cooperation from your kids.
- How to Properly Compliment and Encourage Your Kids
If you are struggling with a child who always leaves their clothes on the floor or never finishes their homework on time, you are not alone. A significant number of parents will tell you that their college-going kids still bring laundry home over the weekend. Is it that children can’t be independent and self-reliant?
Rewarding kids for doing their chores, finishing their homework in 30 minutes, and even eating is one of the tactics the 21st-century parent has adopted. While it’s a great incentive to get things done, in the long run, it makes kids feel entitled; and things that were fun to do are now boring chores.
The art of positive parenting teaches that you should encourage your kids to do things from a young age and then compliment them even if it wasn’t well done.
For instance, my kids do the dishes every day since they were very little. Between you and me, I always redo them after they go to bed, but they don’t know that. By encouraging them to do dishes and other chores around the house, I am raising self-reliant human beings who will not be using paper plates in college.
Encouraging your kids makes them feel capable and also know that you are proud of what they do. If you keep criticizing the things they do, the child eventually gives up because they can’t make you happy.
- How to Positively Take Action
Stop Talking and Take Action is perhaps the best nugget in Positive Parenting Solutions. When you tell a child the same thing over and over again, it means they are not hearing you.
In fact, they are either ignoring you or have tuned your voice out.
Once you have calmly warned the child about something and outlined the consequence of doing it, you don’t need to keep repeating yourself. Simply and quietly take action.
For example, if you warned them to stop coloring the wall with crayons, but continue to do it, go over, take the crayons, and put them away. You can expect a fiery throwdown to come after that, which you will ignore and walk away.
The conversation can go something like: “I see you decided you don’t want the privilege of using your crayons. That’s ok. I will keep them for now. I’m sure you will make a better decision next time.”
A study in the Journal of Child Development shows that yelling causes children to have anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. You don’t feel good yelling at your kids either. By following the nuggets of wisdom outlined in the Positive Parenting Solution course, you can finally become the parent you have always dreamed of. Better yet, you can raise confident, well-adjusted, and independent kids.
As I started to review this program I found three pieces of info that made the decision to move forward with purchasing easier.
- I could sample the program with an hour intro video. This allowed me to feel more comfortable with the presenter, Amy McCready, along with the content.
- There is no risk to you with their 30-Day Money Back Guarantee. No questions asked. So if the process doesn’t end up working for your family you can easily cancel.
- This is not a subscription service. Once you pay for the course, you will have LIFETIME access. I don’t know about you but for me knowing I don’t have to remember to cancel in a year makes this a much easier decision.
I hope you found this post helpful and it helps you find a way forward to a Cloud Free Life with your family.
What exactly is infertility?
The problems with either conceiving a child, or with carrying out the pregnancy to its eventual fruitful end, fall under the definition of infertility. Infertility is the incapability of an individual to become pregnant, in case of females, or the incapability to induce pregnancy, in case of the males. The inability of an individual to carry out a pregnancy to its full term is also dubbed infertility. How does one recognize infertility? What are the signs of infertility?
Signs of infertility are not always evident. Most people go through life without knowing there is a problem with their reproductive systems, attributing failed pregnancies to providence. In fact, miscarriages are the most common indicator of infertility. Signs of infertility in women:
In women, the signs of infertility are more readily recognized as compared to men. Endometriosis causes the lining of the uterus to grow outside the uterus.
Bacterial infections may begin around the uterus and spread to other reproductive organs, resulting in infertility. Fibroids in the uterus are indicative of infertility. Tumors in the cervix often cause stenosis, or narrowing of the cervix, which is a common indicator of infertility.
Ovulating before the tenth day and after the twentieth day of one’s monthly cycle, pre-menstrual spotting, menopausal symptoms, etc. are indicative of luteal phase defect, and thus in turn are signs too.
Irregular menstrual cycles are the most common indication in females that they might have some problems with fertility. However, an irregular menstrual cycle is not conclusive in itself, but it is definitely one of the signs of infertility.
Issues regarding body weight are often indicators of being infertile. For a woman, being too thin, or anorexic, will definitely hinder pregnancy, since the body does not have the proper nutritional requirements, or the required strength.
Alternatively, obesity can also be a sign. Obesity is accompanied by hormonal imbalance, which affects the reproductive system and pregnancy. Signs of Infertility in Men:
Like females, in males too, either obesity, or anorexia, is an indication that he is infertile. Apart from these, anatomical defects may also be signs of infertility. Undescended testicles, or damage to scrotum and the gonads, are possible indicators too. Wearing tight undergarments, or exposing the testicles to heat, may render the person unable to produce the required number of sperms, or unable to produce sperms altogether, resulting in infertility.
Determining the signs of infertility:
There are many medical procedures for detecting the signs that help to determine whether an individual is infertile or not. Doctors usually prescribe one or more of the following medical tests:
. Hysterosalpingography. A dye injected into the vagina is monitored to check for blockage in the fallopian tubes or uterus.
. Laparoscopy. If disease and other physical problems are present in the ovaries, fallopian tubes, or in the uterus, infertility is suggested. This may be detected through laparoscopy.
Infertility is a problem which can be solved if it is addressed in the holistic way, which is, using a multifaceted method of healing. Getting regular health checkups, taking supplements to combat existing problem, exercising and stress reduction techniques are only part of the holistic solution to infertility. The holistic approach is not only a surefire way to increase your chances of conception it also guarantees a safe and healthy pregnancy.
This article is based on the book, “Pregnancy Miracle” by Lisa Olson. Lisa is an author, researcher, nutritionist and health consultant who dedicated her life to creating the ultimate pregnancy solution guaranteed to permanently reverse the root of infertility, help you get pregnant quickly and naturally and dramatically improve the overall quality of your life, without the use prescription medication and without any surgical procedures. Learn more by visiting her website:
Full discloser, we do receive a small commission if you make any purchases through the above site.